It’s easy to let your heart harden, to shut down the muscle that makes us feel, be that good or bad. Waves of euphoria can lead to wakes of depression. After all, once you’ve known glorious highs, the plummeting lows become that much worse. Yet, without those despair-filled lows, we could not know those soaring highs. We learn more about ourselves when the chips are stacked against us, and despite our heart screaming at the top of its lungs to leave it be in its rib cage of misery, we know better. We allow people to come in. We force our own frigid hearts to make contact with the warm presence of friends, family and loved ones. Eventually, the ice will begin to melt. It won’t happen all at once, and that little beating drum inside your chest might feel like it’s on fire, but stick with it. Don’t be afraid to let yourself feel something more than fear and sadness. Let your heart become like seemingly unbearably cold sheets in winter’s eve become warm, all through human touch.
“I’m sleeping, July,” I said, holding my ear to the front door of my apartment, waiting to hear footsteps, but there were none. She was just standing there, on the other side. I could hear her violently breathing through her nose.
“I’ll wait,” she said.
My apartment didn’t have a peephole….